键盘侠｜这镜头把我带回了 我呆立桌旁爸妈检查我成绩的那天(我键盘侠在线怼人)

1月10日，湖人坐镇主场迎战灰熊，前三节湖人一度落后接近30分。末节双方相继换上替补，虽然湖人替补贡献一波21-0将分差追至个位数，把灰熊主力打了回来，但最终还是119-127不敌灰熊。当晚，詹姆斯坐在场边查看数据表，恰巧被身旁的威少瞥见。

本场比赛双方数据

湖人（21-20）：詹姆斯35分9板7助、威少6分7板6助、蒙克7分5板3助3帽、S-约翰逊2分3板、布拉德利7分2断、安东尼7分、里夫斯16分、塔克13分、阿里扎3分5板、艾灵顿16分、霍华德7分4板。

灰熊（28-14）：贾伦-杰克逊21分12板6帽、贝恩23分4板3助3断、莫兰特16分5板7助、凯尔-安德森14分7板8助、威廉姆斯9分3助、康查尔12分4板、梅尔顿4分4板3助、蒂尔曼9分4板、克拉克14分、泰厄斯-琼斯5分3板6助。

[–]Brave_Sock4179 4296 points 4 hours ago2

Looks like my dad seeing my report card

球迷：和我爸看我成绩单时的样子一毛一样

[–]tommy_eide 1102 points 3 hours ago

Next Lakers game:

Russell Westbrook – DNP grounded

球迷：下一场湖人比赛：拉塞尔-威斯布鲁克DNP没跑了

[–]LakersBig-Shtick 401 points 2 hours ago

Woj: \”Westbrook heard screaming from the locker room, \’You\’re not my real dad!\’ LeBron reportedly asking fans for a belt and five minutes.\”

湖人球迷：名记：“威少听到更衣室传来咆哮声。‘你不是我的亲生爸爸！’据报道，詹姆斯向球迷要了一根皮带以及五分钟的天伦之乐时间。”

[–]CIark 481 points 4 hours ago

“I had no expectations and I’m still somehow disappointed”

球迷：“我本来对你也没多大指望，可你这是真有点坑啊”

[–]LakersSkorua 93 points 2 hours ago

How do you fail P.E.

湖人球迷：“说说，你这体育课咋挂的？”

[–]Heat302born 49 points 3 hours ago

Lebron about to take away Russ triple double privileges

热火球迷：詹姆斯马上要收走威少的三双特权了

[–]LakersEverybodyBuddy 71 points 2 hours ago

Of Lebron’s three children, which do you think he considers the biggest disappointment?

A) Russ B) IT C) Kyrie

湖人球迷：詹姆斯三个孩子里，你觉得谁让他最失望？A.威少，B.小托马斯，C.欧文

[–]MavericksPRsAndDR 2138 points 4 hours ago

Westbrook peepin\’ to see how many rebounds he needs to get for a triple double lmao

独行侠球迷：威少偷瞄一眼，是想看看还要抢几个篮板才能达到三双，哈哈

[–]Netspedja13 607 points 4 hours ago

\”Damn I am 5 rebounds short,but if I dip into my turnover bag I can still get the triple double,just need 3 more.\”

篮网球迷：“淦，咋还差5个篮板！没事，把失误给算上，再失误3次，老子还是三双！”

[–]76ers6000chickenfajitas 155 points 3 hours ago

more turnovers -> more opposition possessions -> more chances for defensive rebounds

76人球迷：失误更多->对方进攻机会更多->抢防守篮板的机会更多

[–]ayending1 197 points 4 hours ago

Give me my fucking rebounds, Dwight, you are not even a top 75!

球迷：别TM抢我篮板，霍华德！你连75大球星都不是！

[–]RyanKeen07 1405 points 5 hours ago

I\’m getting bad flashbacks to the kitchen table as my parents were reviewing my grades

球迷：这镜头带我回到了那一年的那一天，我呆立餐桌旁，等爸妈检查我的成绩

[–]frusciantepepper 279 points 5 hours ago

Those were the worst times of my life, My parents took me off the basketball team one year because I was a straight C student lol

球迷：那是我人生的至暗时刻。因为各科成绩都是C，我爸妈让我退出篮球队一年，哈哈

[–]KnicksGreen__Bananas 134 points 2 hours ago

No offense but they did the right thing

尼克斯球迷：无意冒犯，可你爸妈做得没毛病

[–]ayending1 242 points 4 hours ago

\”Russ, you got two C- and four D . I gonna ask..\”

\”Next question, dad.\”

“小威，你有两科C-、四科D ，我想问……”

“下一个问题，爸爸！”

[–]CIark 38 points 4 hours ago

“Tell your mom I’m going to the store for cigarettes”

球迷：“给你妈说，老子出去买包烟”

[–]MavericksClickElectronic 1396 points 4 hours ago

Strong 2018 Cavs vibes lately

独行侠球迷：如图，梦回2018年的骑士

[–]GrizzliesNetflixAndNikah 679 points 3 hours ago

I\’m crying this picture perfectly encapsulates that hot mess of a cavs team right before the trade lmao

灰熊球迷：笑尿了，这张图完美呈现了当年骑士队交易之前的糟糕局面

[–][LAL] Kareem RushRah_Rah_RU_Rah 364 points 2 hours ago

Bron really said fuck it I\’m getting shooters and it worked. That post deadline offense was beautiful

湖人球迷：詹姆斯说要有射手，于是，就有了射手。别说，交易后骑士队的进攻还真不赖

[–]WarriorsBalls_of_Adamanthium 1018 points 5 hours ago*

That beard scratching as Russ gets up did it for me. Quality editing.

勇士球迷：威少起身、老詹挠胡子的镜头戳到我了。给剪辑师加鸡腿。

[–]_BeefyTaco 328 points 3 hours ago

Lets be honest, did anyone think Russ to the Lakers would work out?

球迷：U1S1，难道真有人认为威少适合湖人？

[–]BagRight8939 968 points 5 hours ago

LeGM gearing up to make some decisions

球迷：总经理詹姆斯上线，即将做出一些决定

[–]NetsKwilly462 272 points 5 hours ago

He can decide all he wants, he\’s not getting rid of Russ\’s contract

篮网球迷：别吹了，他想要别的也许都能决定，可想要处理掉威少的合同？门都没有啊

[–][LAL] Kobe BryantRyanZee08 419 points 5 hours ago

I would just like to point out hes been traded twice while people have been screaming this.

湖人球迷：我想插一句，都说威少合同大、处理不掉，可他已经被交易两次了

[–]NetsKwilly462 104 points 5 hours ago

But this is the worst he\’s ever played his entire career

篮网球迷：可现在是他职业生涯里打得最差的时候

[–]Lakersrawchess 129 points 4 hours ago

LeGM deciding to take his talents back to Cleveland

湖人球迷：总经理詹姆斯决定将自己的天赋带回克利夫兰

[–]phuqo5 78 points 3 hours ago

Man the city of Cleveland gonna have to buy this mans jersey for the third fuckin time? Excellent grift.

球迷：克利夫兰球迷要第三次买这家伙的球衣？我了个擦！赶紧下载反诈中心APP

[–][MIN] Tyus JonesIslandkid679 247 points 5 hours ago

\”Aight, who\’s going on the trading block?\”

森林狼球迷：“好吧，要把谁交易掉呢？”

[–]Heat302born 75 points 3 hours ago

Everyone.

热火球迷：一个不留

[–]DowntownTopRanking 158 points 6 hours ago

What Westbrook is doing to that paper (in his mind).

球迷：威少（脑海中）是这么干的！

[–]tendy-hands 97 points 5 hours ago

Is there a point at looking at the stats during the game? Is he going to see who’s shooting better and be more likely to pass to them?

球迷：你说他会不会是想看一下这场比赛谁投得更准，接下来想多传球给他？

[–]Lakers9D_Chess 356 points 5 hours ago

He\’s taking mental notes of who the fuck is getting shipped out next week

湖人球迷：他是想捋一下下个礼拜谁得卷铺盖走人？

[–]LakersStoneColdAM 77 points 5 hours ago

Russ: “Did I do good LeBron?…. LeBron?”

LeGM (on the phone): “Yeah, hi, this is LeBron James… I was wondering if you were interested in a gently used Russell Westbrook….”

湖人球迷：威少：“我的数据咋样，老詹？……老詹？”总经理詹姆斯（打电话中）：“对对对，我是勒布朗-詹姆斯……我就是想问一下，你们对拉塞尔-威斯布鲁克有没有兴趣？九成新，包邮……”

[–]NetsNoobAccount123456 1009 points 7 hours ago*

Found a 2011 tweet from Draymond in college saying this lol

篮网球迷：找到一条追梦2011年上大学时发的推特，哈哈

（翻译：维斯布鲁克又要把雷霆给投死了）

[–]ThunderTheRecovery 215 points 6 hours ago

This is 11 years ago, Jesus Christ.

雷霆球迷：这可是11年前啊，我了个大擦

[–]76ersallinasecond 98 points 6 hours ago

And nothing changed!

76人球迷：任它沧海桑田，我自龟然不动

[–][BKN] Kevin Durantsukjustin4 33 points 4 hours ago

Consistency is key – and also triple doubles

篮网球迷：要的就是一如既往——还有三双！

[–]Raptorsmisterpizzaguy 251 points 8 hours ago

If it smells like shit wherever you go….

猛龙球迷：如果你不管走到哪，都闻到一股臭味……

[–]RaptorsThaNorth 157 points 7 hours ago

They say there\’s an asshole at every party. I haven\’t met him yet.

猛龙球迷：他们说每个派对上都会有一个搅屎棍。我咋从没见过。

来源：Reddit

编译：语次无伦